SATIRE_ Forget War With Iran. It’s Time To Bomb My Homeland Of Canada (Scoops Delacroix - DAILY CALLER)

DAILY CALLER

SATIRE

Forget War With Iran. It’s Time To Bomb My Homeland Of Canada

(Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty Images) 

Scoops Delacroix
Freelance Writer
February 19, 2026 2:05 PM ET


The war drums are beating. DOD officials are insider trading on Kalshi. Lindsey Graham is practically drooling with delight.

It feels like we are on the verge of something big: a hot kinetic fight with Iran. But, as a Canadian dissident, I must ask: why is America escalating with the Ayatollah regime, when they should be unleashing hell on my homeland?

A new Politico poll has confirmed my worst fears: Canadians are willing to bend over and get shafted by Chinese Communist Dictator Xi Jinping just to own Donald Trump.

KANANASKIS, CANADA – JUNE 15: US President Donald Trump (R) is greeted by the Prime Minister of Canada Mark Carney, as he arrives at the G7 Leaders Summit on June 15, 2025, in Kananaskis, Canada. Keir Starmer is attending his first G7 leaders’ summit, where issues on the table for discussion are the escalating conflict in the Middle East, as well as the failure to bring peace to Ukraine. (Photo by Stefan Rousseau – Pool/Getty Images)


A stunning 57% of Canadians think it is better to rely on Xi and China than Trump and the U.S. What’s more, 48% of Canadians believe America is a greater threat to world peace than Russia or China.

Considering that the U.S. military is about to glass Tehran, they may have a point on that last bit. But to warmly embrace the CCP and become a vassal state of the Chinese — that is an utter abomination.

Canadians are wussies, and we are too obsessed with social welfare, hockey, and poutine to ever become a great power. That doesn’t mean we should sell out to China and let Xi’s spies run amok in our country. I’d rather have an infiltration of CIA spooks pushing a color revolution than Chi-comms stealing our maple syrup recipes.

America, it’s time to give Ottawa some shock-n-awe. Regime change in Tehran? Forget about it. I want to see the Canadian capital glow like Baghdad in ’03. Bring the rain. 

This article is satire. 

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READ MORE: https://dailycaller.com/2026/02/19/canada-politico-poll-canadians-hate-america-iran-war/

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